Every Young Man’s Battle

Never judging a book by its cover is a saying that proved true for this read. Our esteemed members got carried away by the title ‘Every Young Man’s Battle and prejudged it as a self-help book. The expression of their surprise was rather hilarious.


⚠️Spoiler Alert!⚠️

The book, Every Young Man’s Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation is a confessional and advisory book authored and co-authored by Stephen Arterburn Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey. It is surprising how all 3 have a say in the matter and yet only totaling 179 pages and 23 topics.

It is a quick and easy book to read except if you are a prude or guilty of sexual sins you are dealing with or are in the process of overcoming. Sex education or discussions is approached with silence and embarrassment in families, schools, and religious places. Not talking about sex doesn’t make the act non-existent it only keeps the matter under wraps and perhaps it's why we have an explosion of, sexually transmitted infections, early/unwanted pregnancies, abortions, gay couples, and ridiculous extramarital affairs.



At the age of sweet sixteen when I was part of the debating club in high school, a rather hot topic at the time was placed up for debate: ‘’Virginity is a consequence of lack of opportunity’’. What is your say?

Keeping in mind some of the 6 basic truths and 3 tendencies about men as detailed in the book, one major question then comes up “How can a young man keep his way pure?” (Psalm 119:9). It is expected and accepted that men should have endless exciting sexual experiences disregarding all the consequences that come with such a lifestyle.



So, what are the obstacles to obtaining or maintaining sexual purity for single and married men? According to the book, the highlighted reasons include:

• Misguided beliefs about sex, males, and females
• Exposure to erotic content which is very readily available and accessible to all (let’s not get started with the music videos or commercial adverts)
• A willing partner to engage in sex
• Encouragement from family and peers
• A distant connection with oneself termed as ‘authenticity vs acceptance’
• A disconnect with God
• An absence of a physical activity
• Idleness



To counter these obstacles, I will directly quote from the book……’’you must also make sure that you have healthy, positive affections and attitudes in your relationships with girls. In other words, you want your heart to be right and your boundaries clear. To accomplish this, you need to build three perimeters of defense into your life:

  • You need to build a line of defense with your eyes
  • You need to build a line of defense in your mind
  • You need to build a line of defense in your heart

There is an excellent concept of The Bifurcation Myth that you will find interesting, chop chop, read the book, or join our WhatsApp group and ask our members.???? I suggest you also read;

  • The Bible thoroughly on sexual purity
  • Every young woman’s battle of course by Stephen Arterburn
  • The purity principle by Randy Alcorn
  • The priority of purity by Mark Farnham and Tom Farrell

Writen by Wanjiru Njeri

TOFA Book Club

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